I don’t quite feel right saying things are more difficult for those with mental disorders as compared to… compared to what or who? All I know is with my OCD, most everything I do—including writing for this site—has to be done with a multiplier of the energy I expect others have to exert to do the same things. That, even saying it to myself, seems completely self-centered and—well—a whole bunch of things I’m not… or don’t want to be.
This multiplier. It comes from the fact that most life actions I take come filtered through at least two brains, figuratively. Everything is mentally double or triple the work because I must think things through according to the demands of these brains. One is a pretty normal brain, it knows the world rationally. The other is full of irrational thoughts. Yet another, which could be combined into the second maybe, filters things through obsession.
All of these minds battle it out to produce something tangible. It is exhausting. As well, it leads to imperfect work, which I cannot accept.
I’m taking a break from writing new articles for the site and will be focusing on growing it. That seems a bit paradoxical, but hey—my mind, my site and all. It does things this way.
I’ve already written over 100,000 words over almost 100 articles in six months.
None of these articles are timely—in that they have no expiration on the content therein. And for sure, you have not read them all. That would be akin to reading maybe two to three books on OCD from my perspective!
I don’t know how long this break will be. Some of it is for personal reasons, some of it is because I need to refocus on the next phase of the writing for this site (I do not at all want to find myself repeating the same thing over and over1.)
In the meantime!
There’s still a massive amount to read here. Here’s a whole list. ← Click that, you’ll love it. Seriously, lots of good words. Or, lots of words. One or the other, yours to decide.
1 I do this in real life. It annoys people. I would rather it not be a condition of mine that defines me on the internet. [BACK]