“Don’t give up”

– Too many people

What does that quote really mean? Nothing. “Don’t give up” is a most simplistic phrase pretty much anyone can utter to anyone, it assumes no account of the mental state of the person it is directed toward. When we’re talking mental state, we’re not just talking about the now, but that along with the entire mental makeup of the person.

I give up all the time. Most often this process of “giving up” is contained within my head and never actualizes. I actualize very little because with my OCD I need a full-on plan for every eventuality considered. So I dream of giving up, and keep it filed under “dream.”

Control.

If I don’t have it, I am a person who feels my existence lies outside my own body. As if some form of me is sitting next to another form of me, and whoever “I” am is not sure which of the two is me.

That’s where I’m at right now, and it makes it impossible to write. Then again, I promise myself that I’ll add something to this site every three days. And I follow rules.

There’s ya go, a link to an article much better thought out than this one. There are also many more right there on the right side of this page.

I’m not really giving up. But I am not in control. That is making everything a mess.

A complete mess.

Oh, why is this “part one?”

Because it is a great idea for an article that I cannot write at this moment.