I don’t really even care about my television
I watch two things I care about, and I can get them elsewhere
I’ve live years without a television
But it is killing me
Because it is sudden change
And I cannot adapt to sudden change
Everyone around me thinks I am angry at the television
I give them good reason to think this
I’ll spare the rant. It has to do with rain and taxes
It is not very much about the television being broke
It is a situation happening alongside other situations
I can only handle one situation at a time
I’m fully aware I can live without television
But I can’t have change hoisted upon me
I need to have change happen of my own doing
I’m also mad that I can’t fix the television
It is not completely off, you see
All the right lights are on, it just isn’t working
And I am smart enough to fix this
But I can’t
And I need to get on a plane tomorrow and go across the country
So I’m already anxious
And no one but me understands all the nuance to all of this
They just look at me and think “this guy really is overly angry that his television broke”
I should clarify, it is clear that lightning struck something to cause this
It is probably the cable box
I pay too much for cable for not really caring much for the programming
It is probably the cable box that broke
I don’t know
Not knowing is a major problem
Not knowing is a major problem
Not knowing is a major problem
The cable company will probably come to fix this
However, I now have to wait until I get back from my trip
So being apart from the broken… cable or television or whatever… I will obsess
I will want to fix it, and I will be nine-hundred miles away from it
I don’t demand it be fixed, I demand of myself to fix it
But I can’t
I’ve tried
Everything.
Everything!

I’ve always tried everything.