Fortune cookies are, at their core, stupid. Who the hell knows who makes up the fortunes within. They’re not even fortunes by any definition of the word that I accept. They are words1. That’s it. Words.
But when given a set of fortune cookies I take the one that catches my eye first and actually go as far as opening it knowing it is probably a sign of something either true in general or will become true. There are so many logical fallacies in play here I don’t even want to get into them. This comes from someone that knows tarot cards, fortune telling itself, and even ghosts are complete BS.
I know this. But my OCD controls another part of my brain- or as I often say, a second brain I have to deal with- which accepts things like signs, omens, and the like. This is not even an attempt to find control and meaning in a world that is utterly devoid of it. I am not religious at all, for example. So much so that I don’t even accept classifications such as Atheism and Agnosticism. I’m none of these- I believe we’re not meant to know why this world is the stuff of an eternal existential crisis.
Ok, back to fortunes.
I’ve decided to not only collect these but as a computer programmer, I’ve built a web-based application to scroll through these on my second office computer’s monitor2.
While these articles here are static and unchanging once I publish, I’ll add the collection I’ve amassed up to date. Oh, and I’ve added some of my own. Of course. Control. Or compulsion?
These are the ones that spoke to me:
• Failure is opportunity in disguise.
• No man is free who is not a master of himself.
• Allow disruption to deepen your concentration.
• You are the flexible person in your present situation.
• Greed leads to poverty.
• If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
• Those who can endure the most are rewarded the most.
• Be cautious and examine any business plan.
• A tamed mind brings happiness.
• You always have the right answers; they just sometimes ask the wrong questions.
• An inch of time is an inch of gold.
• A way out of a financial mess is discovered as if by magic!
• All happiness is in the mind.
These are the ones I’ve written myself:
• Everyone is making it up as they go along.
• You know you can be happy, right?
• You are in control.
• Always consider shady goings-on.
• All is calm in the middle of calamity.
That is what I look at. In large sans-serif text. All day long3.
1 I hate the term affirmations and that right there should be the last time you see the word on this site.
2 I’m going to make millions on the IPO, I tell ya! Contact me if you wish to invest.
3 Well, that and the news, time, weather map, and about 200 numbers that act as my reporting on everything regarding my work.