These Salad Bowls!

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I’ve not yet added to my “Daily Life Ruminations” category, so, well, welcome to it. Sometimes OCD is funny. I can see that for myself. I have opinions on that as well, as I’ve written. This is one of those times.

Ok, I inherited a set of salad bowls. I don’t really make salad. Left to my own devices I tend to only make three things for the one meal I eat a day: ham sandwiches, boudin, and egg sandwiches with a gadget built just for egg sandwiches. What I make to eat isn’t really the thing here (though you’ll notice these things are very OCD-friendly. No mess.)

Anyway, I am in charge of washing the dishes (well, that makes sense doesn’t it?) And these salad bowls find their way into my pile to clean often. Let’s just take a look at them for a second. Here:

Wait! Hold on. I messed up, let’s put them in order:

Actually, wait! The first way was better, not in order, but more balanced to the eye in terms of composition. I do have a degree in photography1.

Ok. These bowls. They have a design. A terrible design in terms of aesthetics, but that isn’t important here. Look at them, Here, look closer:

The design is literally (I don’t use that term lightly, and hate when people do) a picture of dirt. Some one is, as they say, fucking with me. Do you have any idea how impossible it is to feel satisfied that I’ve cleaned these properly? Really. A bowl, which needs to be washed after use, with a design of speckles that look like food particles. Who the hell thought this was ok?

I get the speckles was a product design movement in the 1980’s, and most likely this is how old these bowls are (we, in my house, do not buy new and expensive things.) But really, on pants—we can all laugh. Maybe2.

But on bowls? This would be akin to an industrial designer sketching out an oven with grease stains as the paint finish. YOU DO KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE BOTHERED BY THINGS LIKE THIS TO THE POINT OF TAKING MEDICATION, RIGHT3?

Do you know how many times I have to check to make sure these bowls are actually clean? Do you know what the difference, in look, is between a speck of actual lettuce and a speck of part of this… ugh… design? Nothing!

This is hell. I will throw these away, you know. I will get in trouble for doing so. But I’m gonna.

Someone thought this was a good idea. I’m now waiving my hands in disgust.


1 No, really. I do! I spent my money on something I already had a level of talent in and really didn’t increase my talent level.  [BACK]

2 I do the laundry also, so maybe not.  [BACK]

3 I think that’s the first time I’ve yelled on this site. Huh. I do that often. But I’m not an angry person. Sometimes when I’m in a good mood—as I clearly am now—I get a bit… animated.  [BACK]